One Rotten Apple Spoils the Whole Bunch… Baby!

It seems to me that bad attitudes compound faster than credit card interest.  I know from personal interaction that whenever I speak to people and especially when I do a one-on-one consulting job a good attitude spreads very quickly.  A few motivational quotes, some positive words, a plan, the method and the means in which to succeed help in spreading the good mood and Ya-ttitude^TM around quickly.  People really do want their worlds and their lives to be better and will grasp the Ya-ttitude^TM of positive life with both hands or embrace it wide arms wide-spread.  I can vouch for it; I have seen it; and I live it every day. 

There is still just one thing that is much more contagious than good attitude is and that is a bad attitude and negative attitudes.  I really do have trouble understanding it.  Is it “fashionable” or “cool” to be negative?  My guess is that you can make many more “wise-guy-” or “smart-ass-” style comments while you are trying to show off your cool new negativity.  Do they look smart?  Do they think they look smart because they can argue the “negative” side of a conversation or drag someone down to their level?  I am sure they believe they are - at least in their own eyes and mind.   And then the mob-mentality takes over and each negative comment and commentator is busy trying to outdo the other. 

I was recently part of a post-submission on Digg.com and it seemed that the submission got so hot that it hit the front page as a very popular piece.  In order to get to the front page of Digg.com the piece has to be liked and voted on by quite a few people.  So it was quite obvious that the article or the topic or something had the Diggers digging away; and then it went popular and hit the front page.  A few people commented and then one or two made what they deemed funny but degrading comments on the topic and the writer and then the mob-mentality took over.  And they had a blast with it - each negative comment trying to out do the other, and each time someone questioned the attitude or the reasoning they got blasted as well.  Why?  Because people with negative attitudes seek to drag you down to their level.  They believe that there is no reason you need to be positive because they are sure there is no reason they should be positive.  Their problem is that they are so stuck in the negative-rut that they cannot see the bright and beautiful positive light just in front of them. 

This is why when we talk about the 4-step plan to success I emphasize the 3rd step: Your mind tightly closed to all negative influence. Those negative influences can come from places you least expect; friends, family and acquaintances. Many others have a three-step plan and do not include this step, but I feel that it is as important if not THE most important of the steps.  It is definitely a step that can trip you up most easily, as we have become accustomed to listening to the opinions of others, especially where friends and family are concerned.

So as the Digger and the Writer found out.  Take a stand, tell it like it is.  Be confident in you and the things you do and never let anyone enter and take control of YOUR mind.  It is yours and you are the only person who will or will not allow entry.  Choose the information you assimilate and absorb wisely and above all else be YOU!

And because this post was made on such a sad day I will include a Special Estelle Getty Tribute (Sophia on the Golden Girls)

A Negative Mind Only Spawns Negative Thoughts and Ideas!

Try a Spoon Full of Positive To Make that Medicine go Down!

I was going through a bunch of the comments and emails in regard to my most recent series on the Great Fears and so many of the comments or emails tend to lean towards the negative.  So as a refresher to the main purpose behind your great    

Ya-ttitude^TM, I am taking a day off from the fear series and dropping you a reminder.  A negative mind has not the ability to create positive or good thoughts.  You will be mired in the negative because it is what you spend your time thinking about.  No, this is not a link to the Secret, as that is a fairly useless set of instructions, you will get much further with a basic 4-step plan to success.  I do not completely disagree with the premise that you must think positive thoughts to attract positive things, but I do disagree vehemently with the thought that your thinking things will automatically just bring them to you.  You need to work at it.  You need to give back equally and of valued service.  You need to have an emotional tie to the thought and a drive and ambition.  You have to work those goals and your plan and align yourself with others to make it happen, wishing upon a star only works in Disney Movies.  Making your dreams come true happen everyday in real life; and there is absolutely no reason that YOU cannot make it happen for you. 

When you allow yourself to dwell on the negative parts of your day or your life, your negative thinking expands to fill all of your thoughts and actions and will leave no room for positive thoughts and positive growth.  Remember: The good news here is the opposite is also true.  So as you fill your head with positive thoughts and actions it will leave no room for the negative to have any effect or affect on your life or your goals and dreams.  Just as the negative thoughts can become an endless downward cycle, you need to realize that these positive thoughts do the same and give you an endless upward cycle.  You can achieve anything you want when you put positive to the forefront; you can accomplish nothing when you allow the negative to be your driving factor. 

I know you can and you know you can - so we can’t both be wrong!

You can because you will concentrate on the task at hand, using all of the past little tips on concentration and focus that we learned a few weeks ago and then you will break the task down into mini-tasks, each one with an goal and time-frame and a personal reward waiting for you upon its completion.  And when your job, goal and task have been completed, you will realize that your planning, your effort and your elimination of the negative will become a driving force to your accomplishing everything you want to accomplish; Always!

Remember to tell yourself:  I could do it, and I did!

The Fear of Old Age: Growing Pains!

The Fear of Old Age and those Growing Pains is very closely related to and influenced by three or more of the other Great Fears.  The Fear of Poverty, the Fear of Illness and the Fear of Death all have a place in the birth of this Fear.  All have a place in the manifestation of this fear and all have a great influence on how we feel about growing old.  These three fears have the pleasure of calling themselves the parents of the Fear of Old Age, but in our more modern time the Fear of Criticism and Embarrassment as well as the Fear of the Loss of Love and Loved ones also plays a great part in keeping the fear alive and growing.  The fear of Old Age is almost like a review of many of the fears we have previously discussed and of the one big universal one that we will be getting to shortly; The Fear from Death. 

In essence this fear of Old Age will serve as a great way to review our understanding of some of the topics we have recently covered, as well as a great way to increase our knowledge surrounding these fears and how to understand and handle them in our every day lives. 

My perspective on this fear is a bit different than the classic perspective and with that thought in your mind I feel much more comfortable calling the Fear of Old age, The Fear of Growing Older.  It is not purely Old Age that is a fear, but growing “Older” that scares most of us.  The fear of Growing Older encompasses many smaller fears that finally create the great Big One!  Whether we are in our teens or our sixties the fear is almost the same.  Though certain aspects of the fear are heightened at different ages, the components of the fear basically remain the same.  And the interesting part is that some of the larger parts of the fear (as in the fear of poverty - translated into “paying our bills”) weigh heavy on all age levels in this fear. 

I remember being about seventeen and hanging out with a bunch of my closest friends one night at a park in Brooklyn that we called home.  Amazingly enough that conversation skewed its way into wondering how we are going to pay bills and things when we finished High School for some and college for others.  It was a deep and wide spread conversation for a bunch of kids that ranged from 15 to 18 years of age.   I remember talking about being the accounting major and taking all those classes on how to write checks (remember those) and balancing books and such and being sure that “this is no big deal.” While others wondered where does the money actually come from?  The teen mind is active and moving forward, but still wonders how it will be as they grow older and where their wealth and happiness will come from once they have left the cozy nest. 

There are two age groups that seem to be the ones I work most with; those in their late twenties and those who have crossed the line at forty and slightly beyond.  The interesting thing about those two groups is that they fear much of the same as it involves growing older.  The twenty-something’s are afraid that they have reached their creative and work-worthy limits.  At this point in their lives, if they are not “set” then they are in trouble is exactly what they fear.  Now as for the twenty-something’s that fear is probably one that comes from times gone by.  It was not all that long ago that a “future-forward” person was married, had their children and their career in full swing at 28.  In today’s ever-changing world it is not a necessary.  I work with many people between the ages of 25 and 31 trying to show them that the “great veil of the future” starts to lift itself at around thirty.  From that point you can start to see what it was you did and how you need to work on those goals, and what it is you want to do with your life and start setting a focus and plan to attaining it.  It seems that at the tender age of thirty life starts to show itself in full transparency to an individual.  Your thoughts become more focused and your work ethic hits a much higher note.  This is a fantastic point in your life to overcome the issues that make us fear growing old and old age.  It is the perfect time to get your plan in place, start to work hard at attaining it, this is a great time to gather that group of like-minded people to work with you and you work with them in the attainment of you goals and this is a sensitive time where negative influences are concerned.  It is a sensitive time as many people are now in full career swing and friends and even family can come down hard on you when you want to go for a major change and move forward with your life’s-goals.  If it is something you really want and really intend to work at it - then work hard to block out those negatives and keep the positive outlook.  It will allow you to be much more comfortable with old age and growing older as it happens each and every day. 

When working with the group that is slightly older and in their early to mid forties things are remarkably similar, but in a slightly different aspect.  This group seems to find fault with itself more than any other (except teenagers - but that is a whole other book).  There is a definite tendency to “slow down” and develop a false inferiority complex solely based on age.  They feel they are “slipping or losing touch” which is very strange because at this ripe “young” age (between forty and sixty) the greatest use of our mental and spiritual assets and attributes are available.  Many forty-something’s speak apologetically about their age as if age is an excuse; Instead of realizing that reaching the age of forty, fifty and sixty is an advantage and a gift of wisdom and understanding.  How many times have you said “if Only I was Younger?” This is a period in your life when you can use all of the knowledge and experience you have gained as well as all of those friends and contacts and build it into your dream.  It is a perfect time to apply everything and get everything as you have now entered the age-of-wisdom and can now be exactly that which you have strived for and if you have not yet started - it is a PERFECT time to get that plan down and move forward. 

You must realize though, that if you are to use your skill and wisdom and all the knowledge that being a forty-plus individual has given you, you must also dress and act the part.  Do not try to hide behind fashion-forward clothing and try to be 21 when you are 41.  The effect is more ridiculous than advantageous.  I am not telling you to not be fashion conscious, just be age appropriate.  Dress like the expert you now are.  When you are trying to project confidence and expertise you need to look the part.  You need your potential “customers” realize that they NEED you because YOU are the expert.  If you are going to be the expert - play the part well!  You are now at a stage in life that affords you the spoils of expertise, do not give it away by trying to be someone or something you are not; take advantage of what you have learned.  That is the way to ward off the fear of Old Age. 

Remember: You control all that you want to be.  You are the master of you ship, so set sail for success.  Do not fear old age and do not fear growing old, as both should be embraced and taken advantage of so that you can prosper.

My Good Friend Nicole from Kitchen Table Medicine would also love to help you. Take a look at her Anti-aging Diet. 

Do not be embarrassed about your age - no matter what your age is! - You are better today and everyday - in every way!

Do not fear poverty - You are on the track to defining your goals and your future - poverty does not stand a chance against your force of effort!

Do not fear Illness - as at this age - at any age - you are better than you were yesterday and getting better every day!

Do not fear the Loss of Love - You are better and smarter and wiser with age - all attributes that the ones that you love and that love you appreciate!

Do not fear growing older - It is exactly like your plan - it gets better, focused, defined and refined each and every day!

Do not Fear Old Age - Embrace it, as it is coming regardless - so why fear it - use it to your advantage!

Three Times the Charm

It was definitely the great week for Ya-ttitude.  I guess this is the give positive - get positive - give positive-award.  Ya-ttitude.com  did not get one or two but three of the amazing awards this week.  And what makes them so special is that they are give to you by your peers.  You have to be hand-selected by another amazing blogger and I feel so honored and lucky to have been selected to receive three of these awards this week.To my surprise Amy from Amyoops.com was the first to honor me and then I received another shortly after from Heather of Azure Islands Design and to round out the amazing week an incredible blogger Rob over at Rob’s Megaphone  just bestowed one on me as well.  Wow - What a week and what an honor!

The “Arte y Pico” award was created and to be given to bloggers who inspire others with their creative energy and their talents, whether it be writing, artwork in all media’s. When you receive this award it is considered a “special honor”. Once you have received this ward, you are to pass it on to at least 5 others.

1) The winner of the award must choose 5 bloggers that they consider deserving of this award for the creativity, design, posts and contribution to the blogging community, no matter the language.

2) Each award given has to have the name of the author and a link to his or her blog to be visited by everyone.

3) Each award winner has to show the award and put the name and link to the blog that has given her or him the award itself.

4) Award winner and the giver of this award must show the link of the Arte y Pico blog, so everyone will know the origin of this award.

5) Post these rules.  

The following are the perfect artist to receive this award as they are artists “who inspire others with their creative energy and their talents.” As the rules state it is my turn to go positive and bestow this award to 5 fantastic people with fantastic blogs. 

This is not easy to do as I read so many blogs every week.  I thought that maybe I would try to go with different categories for the awards.

1. From the world of business blogging:  Erik Johnels from The Weakest Link Consulting is working hard at showing all of us how to conduct ourselves in the business world and has most recently spent much of his time teaching us just how to make money from our blogs.

2. Joe, Joe, Joe what can I say about the Crotchety Old Man - Oh Ya! Richard Simmons he is not - but funny - He Is! This is my World of Comedy Winner.

3. Christine from Live Passionately is my Self-Help winner.  Her blog is always inspiring and a must read on my schedule - should be on yours too!

4. Kevin at Next Gen Dads gets my Personal Blog Award.  This is great stuff for the family man and even woman.  Down home heart felt writing!

And finally -  

5. My Naked Blog Award goes to Robin of Naked In Eden.  Because her blog is incredible, her writing fantastic and - well - she does everything naked! Thanks again to everyone for the accolades and I really do encourage you to visit these sites I have listed and enjoy their different outlooks on life! 

Addendum: 7/9/08:

It looks like Ya-ttitude Just received another one - Is that a 4-PEAT? Or was it a Quattro?  I really do not know but I know I am so honored by all the love.  First I have to thank that adorable artist Sue from Soul-to-Soul.  Her blog is not only amazing it is quite unique, I think you should all go there and have a look around - well worth the trip and I will reimburse your gas money.   The one thing that is great about getting another one of these is that I am going to take advantage and give some shouts to some other great blogs you should be reading every day! 

1. Principles for Peace is just an amazing site.  Go there and learn how to make the most of yourself!

2. Holly Traveling - those of you who have been here a while know that I love her blog - so now you need to go there and love it too! 

3. Wheres My Damn Answer - 5 women drunk on wine - c’mon who doesn’t love that! I am not going to take advantage of my nominations - so I will only add these three for now. 

Go there and read and enjoy - I know that I do!

The Fear of Loss of Love - The Love Connection

Your Personal Love Potion!

This is the fear that has really given me the most trouble to write about.  I have had “the block” for two weeks when I think of writing about this one.  I have started and torn out various pages from my notebook.  It is not because I do not understand where the fear was born.  It is definitely not because I lack any understanding in regards to why people do have this fear or why they come to have this fear either.  My issues with this fear seem to be so much more personal where this often debilitating fear - The Fear of the Loss of Love is concerned. 

You see this seems to be a fear that I just cannot get my brain around.  It may be because I have never actually felt it; Love lost during High School or that long-awaited date-gone-bad are really not prime examples of this fear at all.  This is a fear that often sends people “over the deep end” and into “fits of rage.”  This fear often leads to jealousy and contempt.  It has turned the most respectable person into a liar, thief and cheater.  It has ruined fantastic careers, great loves and the future of many good people.  But that just may be where I have an issue.

Rewind:

I have used the line “Sometimes the good of the ONE outweighs the good of the many” a few times during my writings.  This is a line I have used even more so when I do one-on-one coaching or business consulting; and that just may be my Personal Love Potion. 

I love myself - I really do!  I am not conceited or arrogant or even braggadocios; but I genuinely love myself.    This is really the KEY, the SECRET and the basis for not being effected by this disease, or fear.  Now - Say it with Me!  “I Love Myself.”  Now say it with a big ole smile on your face; “I Love Myself!!”  When you start loving yourself you will be much better prepared to love others, to feel secure and confident in their love and be secure and confident enough in yourself to realize that you can now control this fear as there will always be love in your life.  It may change and may hurt sometimes, but your life will always be filled with love. 

Of course this disease/fear lends itself to many different incarnations and this is exactly where your faith when added to your confidence and self esteem become your Personal Love Potion!  Your personal-confidence is important in all aspects of life and aspects of business but even more so when it effect the “affairs of the heart.”  The Fear of the Loss of Love is defeated each time you use your Personal Love Potion. 

Add faith to self esteem: Personal Love Potion.  Mix Will Power with your Personal-Confidence: Personal Love Potion.  Now try a cocktail of Will power, Confidence and Faith with a twist of Self Esteem and a dash of Concentration: Personal Love Potion Number 9!  You are protected and protecting yourself by all that which you have learned and by the application of the set of general practices we have worked on to this point.  You are starting to realize that each and every lesson we work on is just another ingredient in that recipe to your success.  The ingredients can be modified to make your ultimate recipe - your personal recipe even, but these ingredients are your basic building blocks to your greater Ya-ttitude^TM and your greater Future!

This is not a fear I wish to spend much time on as it is one that affect the heart and the head, but is easily understood and easily controlled by the use of your Personal Love Potion(s).    I do wish to shed a little light on three of the most common Symptoms of the Fear of the Loss of Love, but a quick-and-easy guide is all that is needed as I believe we do all understand the basic premise with this fear. 

The finding of fault in friends, relatives, loved ones, business acquaintances and workers upon the slightest of provocation or error, without any cause whatsoever (a mouthful) is a clear-cut signal that you are falling prey.  Go back to the exercise on concentration - use it to focus and relax, you can control yourself when you control your thoughts and your mind.  Do not let it ever go as it is yours to control no one else’s. 

One that you may not have thought about is gambling (we did touch on the lying and stealing and cheating - as more obvious ones).  Gambling and taking unnecessary risks are another signal that the fear may be upon you.  You need to more because you believe you need to impress your “love” with material things whereas you can impress so much better with the items of the heart and soul.  Do not spend beyond your means or incur debts that you will never be able to repay.  Those debts of the heart are equally as expensive.  Pay close attention if any of the following occur:  Insomnia, lack of persistence, weakening of your will, lowering of your self esteem, loss of self control a lack of self reliance or snapping and general loss of temper.  Go back to the concentration section and work on those exercises!  And finally Jealousy. 

This habit of being suspicious of friends and loved ones with no reasonable evidence or sufficient grounds - That is jealousy!  You do realize that often Jealousy is just a form of dementia - you don’t want to be demented - drink of the Love Potions - Mix them well - use them often and be all that you can be - and more!

Holly: Just What the Doctor Ordered!

I have a blogging friend who I have been reading and working with for some time now. Her name is Holly and she writes this great personal blog called Holly Traveling- Living with Myself. I have actually been reading her blog longer than I have been blogging.  Her most recent post is titled Sucking You In and it gave me one of those “Hmmmms” that can often send me into a writing spree; and I am thankful, because as I am working diligently on finishing up the “Fear of the Loss of Love; Love Connection” Post I am having a “bit of the block.”  So this was a great diversion and inspiration; it is right on target for what we have been talking about and working on over the previous few weeks. 

The post is almost a perfect review for much of the work we have started to put in place for the road to your ultimate success - your ultimate Ya-ttitude^TM.  I could not have written a better example of how we can use all of the Ya-ttitude^TM we have learned and are learning about if I tried.  And there is no reason to try, there are so many wonderful people in the world who just need a little direction, a little push, some love and a great big hug - and then they are off to achieving their ultimate success. 

Ya-ttitude^TM-ism: Ya-ttitude^TM will give you A little direction, a little push, some love and a great big hug everyday; come and get yours - remember to give your too!

Holly started her post with an ad-of-sorts.  Yes she was looking for someone who could either get her some thick skin or maybe let her know just how one could acquire or grow this thick skin.  See it seems that she has allowed others to control the one thing she has full ownership of and the one thing that all of us can control completely; Our Minds.   One of the ideas that all us are working towards developing in order to reach our ultimate success is the knowledge that we control our mind.  We do not allow anyone in there without our permission and we block out - lock out - all negatives. 

Remember: No one can hurt your feelings without your cooperation, willingness and permission!

No one can cause you to have any kind of emotional reaction without your first giving them permission to do so. You alone are responsible for your feelings and emotions. When you know what you plan to do with your life, you will not allow annoying situations to deter you from your goals for long. If you set ambitious goals for yourself and work enthusiastically toward them, you will quickly realize that you don’t have time to allow petty annoyances to upset you and keep you from your objectives.  —Napoleon Hill

When we read the 4-Step Plan to Success we realize that one of the most important steps in being successful is the ability to keep your mind tightly closed to all negative influence. Those negative influences can come from places you least expect; friends, family and acquaintances.  Stay away from the naysayers, the gloomy Gus and the wet blankets.  Do not let anyone rain on your parade.  You are working to be the best you can be and you know exactly what you want to do and are working hard on getting there.  Keep yourself surrounded by positive and you will get positive and when you get positive, you will be able to give positive.  You need to remember it is all about the Give and Take in life, which is that which will get you to where you want to be. 

Ya-ttitude-Faith:  Positive Faith through the removal of negatives that are blocking the flow of your faith to both your conscious and sub conscious mind.

I think one of the simplest things you need to keep in your mind-arsenal is this thought: Those who are trying to embarrass and criticize you are suffering from their own fears, a general lack of self confidence and are in desperate need of some Ya-ttitude^TM.   If you work your way back up this article you can give them a little push, some direction, show them your love and never forget the hug.  It will change their perspective and their attitude. 

As Holly continues on she really takes her time to point out the difficulties in growing this thick skin and just how hard that it would really be to do.  And she is not wrong.  But it is not “thick-skin” per se that one needs but instead the tools of success in one’s first-aid kit of life that would be of much better use.  You need to learn a few simple things and then practice them, until you have them down to a science.  This is a good time to read the series on Concentration.  There are a few posts and each of them are filled with exercises that are designed to fine tune the mind, the power of your will, your concentration and your Ya-ttitude^TM.  It will become part of you and you will know exactly how to react and how to act whenever one of these negative situations attempt to infiltrate your guard. 

I know that Holly has been really trying hard to fight the forces of procrastination and the issues with motivation.  She has been diligent in her efforts to put forth a maximum effort at all times and that is really what we all need to do - always!  Of course we are going to make some mistakes, but the only mistake you can ever make is not continuing on.  Making a mistake should be looked upon as just a simple step in the recipe to success.  The mistake is a clear instruction of just how NOT to do it next time.  So it is not a mistake but a guide to your ultimate success.  The biggest problem you could have is the inability to make a decision.  Curing Abulia or the inability to make a decision is a key to your success.  Don’t worry so much about the specific decision but think about making the decision and then carrying it through.  You can try to develop a Maxim of Effort and it will take you on your mission of learning how to decide quickly and moving forward feeling confident in your decisions. 

“So, anyway, if anyone happens to know of where I can find some, just let me know. Until then I’ll just keep on nursing my bruises,” is how Holly’s fantastic post ends and to that I add just this. 

Remember:  “He who rules his spirit is greater than he who rules a city.”

And that is because you cannot rule the outside until the inside is under control.

So as we have said before - “Sometimes the good of the one outweighs the good of the many.” So you - the one - must learn to understand yourself before you can be of great assistance to the many!

Thanks for the Inspiration Holly!

Fear of Illness and Disease

The Hypochondriac’s Oath

The Fear of Illness and Disease may as well have been dubbed the Hypochondriac’s oath, as all Hypochondriac’s live by it and most who have this fear may be Hypochondriacs.  This fear is very closely related to two other great fears; The Fear of Death - The Universal Fear and the Fear of Old Age.  Both of these fears will be studied in the coming days. 

You may have acquired these fears from simply living with someone who has suffered from some illness or disease.  You could also have acquired these fears by spending much too much time reading about illnesses and diseases, or watching the news and reading the daily papers in search of the next great plague.  It has been often proven that the simple thought that you have “caught something” will give you “something” and those who scour the papers and scour the internet for outbreaks of salmonella and the bid flue, inevitably come down with the symptoms. 

The actual fear itself it quite easy to understand.  I mean the thought of being overwhelmed by some disease and not being able to work, or support our families and enjoy life is really something that has deeply infected our fear-receptors.  If you ask most physicians they will tell you that many of their cases are people who believe they are ill, or have contracted a news-worthy or new-fad disease.  Flu outbreaks usually include a major part of the populace that have flu-like symptoms because they hear these symptoms every two minutes on every channel on the television or read it on every-other magazine cover or newspaper headline. 

The Power of the mind is incredible whereas it relates to creating an illness or fear of an illness where there was not one before, or where there is no reason for one to exist.  Just ask the now Famous Courtney of Courtney Hears a Who?  I believe that experiment drove home a very interesting point.  And on a related note, just think of the ancient and current sects that Hex or curse someone and the person being cursed is so sure, so convinced that these curses and hexes are true that they become ill, feel the pain and often die, from a mind-driven disease, not an actual illness or disease. 

I know that many of my readers are nurses and I have heard many stories from them that while they trained, and each time they learned of new illnesses and diseases it was inevitable that someone went to the infirmary with the symptoms of said disease.  Once told they had been told that they were fine, or given the placebo, the cure was miraculous.  It is also that “faith” and total lack of the fear of illness and disease that makes our great Doctors and Nurses possible, if they feared every germ, illness or disease, they would never be able to function.  They have put mind over matter and overcome their fears where illness and disease are concerned.  They do not get ill or do not contract disease, because they are immersed in it everyday and have absolutely no fear from it! 

Good News All!  Just as easy as I made it for you to understand how and why we can have these fears, I will show you how they can be eliminated.  I have 6 signs that will point to these fears and as these are understood and eliminated, replaced with knowledge and faith, these fears are gone forever!

I will call the first one Modern Medicines or The Curse of the Well-Stocked Apothecary.  Your choice, both are pretty catchy and very true.  Just how many frequent flyer points have you earned at CVS, Walgreens, Rite Aid, Genovese, Publix Pharmacy and Wal-Mart Drugs or whichever major drug-selling store there is where you reside?  Are you one of “those” people who run to the pharmacy for every brand new “cure-all” and remedy that is released?  Is New and Improved or Extra Strength tattooed somewhere on your body? This is not only a symptom of the Fear, but one of the worse possible crutches as well.  I wonder Ginkgo Biloba, Garlic Pills, Vitamin C Pills, fish oil, shark oil, oil of Olay - whole grain bagels, low-carb diets, high fat diets and A Beach of your choice diets  -  are you all-over these cure-alls like kids to pokemon?  I will tell you - there is nothing more important in life than taking care of you - but seeking every new fad, pill or cure that is released will just reinforce your fear and create a bad and costly habit, that will be very hard to break. 

A general Lack of Exercise is another signal.  You “feel” ill, so you cannot exercise.  What a vicious catch-22.  The general fear of Illness will keep you from exercising which in turn will create an unhealthy situation.  High blood pressure, obesity and raised cholesterol to name but a few real diseases can be brought about by your lack of exercise.  And why aren’t you exercising?  Get off that backside and start exercising! 

We have spoken about the benefits of Auto-Suggestion and positive affirmations.  And we will talk more about them in the next section but just as auto-suggestion can be a positive motivator; it can work in the exact opposite way as well.  If you are telling yourself that you do not feel well, you’re coming down with something, if I catch that… etc well - then - you are now working your sub conscious mind into a negative-frenzy and soon, you will become quite ill.  That is why you need to tell yourself that you are getting better in every way, every day!  I tell my self the very same thing 20 times before bed and 20 times as I awake.  No specificity, just “I am getting better in every way, every day in every way I am better!

Hypochondria is one of those signals that cannot be cured from a bottle, shot or suppository, though suppository would be the method of choice.  The cure is really just positive thinking.  Faith in yourself and what you are doing.  Hypochondria is a disease brought on by deep negative thoughts, we all know how to get rid of the negative now - give positive to get positive and get positive to give it right back! 

Woe is You.  Do the slightest pains or discomforts keep you in bed or at home all day?  How many days of work or school have you missed for what can really be deemed a slight or tiny problem.  Is there some condition you believe you have keeping you from your goals or attaining your Ultimate Success?  If you decide to dwell on those conditions and surrender to them, you are finished, through, Kaput and worse, you have set yourself up to accomplish NADA! 

Now I live in the real world and teach in the real world.  I understand that some of these conditions and ailments are real obstacles to overcome; and it will take great effort, focus, concentration and will power for you to overcome them - but you will! 

Remember:  Every new skill you learn while you overcome your condition(s) will serve you well throughout your trek to your Ya-ttitude^TM and your Ultimate success! 

Alcohol and Narcotics addiction(s) seem to be a popular defense against the fear of illness and disease.  Sad thing here is it will bring it on faster than anything else you decide to hide behind.  You cannot cover your fears with drugs or alcohol.  Eventually you crash and those problems you have tried to hide are still there; now multiplied out by this new bad habit you have acquired. 

You can gain absolutely nothing by trying to cover up, hide or run from your pain.  Seek it out, find the source or sources of the pain; learn more and acquire specific knowledge by reading, studying and understanding it.  Do not be afraid of it, embrace it.  Yes, I know and realize that this is a time-consuming process, one you will need much work on and with to finally bring its elimination to fruition.  Once you work through this your life will be better and you will free up time, money and energy for that greater Ya-ttitude^TM of success you desire.

You, your family, your friends, co-workers, neighbors and your world will be all the better when you finally rid yourself of the fears from Illness and disease, and I know you will do it, you now have all the tools you need and the Ya-ttitude^TM you desire!

Next Up:

Fear: The Love Connection

Courtney Hears a Who?

An Unscheduled visit to The Fear of Illness and Disease

Before I finished the article on The Fear of Illness and Disease and before I decided to post it up for all of you to read, I wanted to go back and read some of Napoleon Hill’s thoughts on the subject.  After reading his ideas, I decided I needed just a little more and went on to read Atkinson and Coue.  All three authors seemed to have manipulated our innate fears of illness and disease through the same experiment.  They called it a study and today we may call it a prank but either way it went something like this:

The experiments started by first eliciting the help of three comrades (they called them colleagues).  These colleagues visited the same person (called the victim) three times during the same day.  Each colleague visited once; for a total of three visits. This was conducted over a few short hours on the same day but with varying degrees of time between the visits.  Each time one of the colleagues visited the victim the same question was asked of the victim; “What ails you? You look terribly Ill!” 

The first questioner received an answer similar to this one: “Oh Nothing, I am all right,” and they both continued on their way.  When the second colleague came around and asked the same question; “What ails you? You look terribly Ill!” The answers were much more like “I am not quite sure, but I do feel under the weather.”  The third time the question was asked it was always answered “I really do feel quite ill;” or something to that effect. 

Now I really did have my doubts.  First, these experiments are a bit old, done between 1912 ands 1950; and we have come a long way baby… right?  And more so, people are supposed to be more in tune with themselves now, when compared to way back then…right?  Boy was I wrong with that thought process; and I am really sorry Courtney, I hope your “feeling” better.

Yes, I did it.  My local coffee shop’s Barista-girl went home around one this afternoon and according to her, “did not feel well at all, very tired actually.” 

I walked in this morning like I do every other day; with a smile and a “good morning” for the young woman behind the counter.  Only difference was today, when I approached the counter I said, “Courtney, wow, tough night last night?  Baby Keeping you up, you really look bad this morning, sorry,” and I smiled.  She said she feels pretty good and glad that today is Friday, so she only has to work until three. I took my coffee and walked out.  I had two accomplices also do to Courtney what I did, which in fact is almost exactly what Hill, Atkinson and Coue did.  The second time around “I don’t know, I kinda feel tired and a bit run down, maybe I am coming down with something, I am not sure,” was the answer to the very question/comment I made only an hour before.  And by the time colleague number three had posed the exact same question to Courtney, she was flushed, and she decided that she really did not feel well at all, and had to go home early.

(Colleague number three is the Owner of said coffee shop and was in on this experiment with me from the beginning.  So Courtney did not lose any pay, and I just go off the phone with her boss, who spilled the beans to Courtney, who may be a bit mad at us all, but all of a sudden feeling all the better. ) 

Yes, I agree, it was mean and I owe Courtney an apology and probably need to take her out for a lunch, but it was a successful experiment. 

Try it on an acquaintance of your own, if you doubt it - but you may not want to let it go quite as far. 

It is great evidence that suggestion and auto suggestion are two mighty powerful forces when it comes to making us do things.  Now we need to look at how exactly we can use these for positive effects on our Ya-ttitude!

When we meet again - I will go into the signs that point to the fact that you may be suffering and how to understand, control and eliminate these fears!

Next time:

Defining The Fear of Ill Health and Disease and eliminating it!

The Hypochondriac’s Oath

The fear of criticism is almost as universal as the fear of death and just as destructive as the fear of poverty.  The fear of criticism can and will rob a person of all their initiative.  This is THE fear that destroys a person’s creativity and imagination - or at least the desire to act upon them.  Criticism is an interesting “entity” as it seems so many people have a stockpile of it and are more than willing to share it with anyone who will take it from them, and are more than glad to hand over big doses to those who have no interest in acquiring any at all.  Criticism so closely resembles free-advice as it seems everyone has some and is more than willing to hand it out with no service charge or V.A.T attached. 

When we initially discussed the 4-step process to your success we touched on the need to keep your mind tightly close to all negative influence. Those negative influences can come from places you least expect; friends, family and acquaintances.  Here is one of those grand examples of just what I meant way back then. It is interesting as that part of my 4-step process to success received the most “criticism” with many people telling me that they understood that they needed to keep their minds free of negative influences, but those very same people told me that I was wrong and keeping your family close no matter what their opinions might be is a better and clearer road to their success.  Well here it is - I ask you - If your family is telling you that your ideas, your plans, your ultimate goals are foolish, insane, impossible or something that you just can’t do, show me the benefit of their constructive criticism.  It seems that quite often family members are among the biggest offenders of this transgression.  Parents often do their children irreparable damage with their criticisms and follies of embarrassments. 

The old saying: “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never harm me” is one of those myths that need busting.  Long after the bruises and the cuts have healed those mental scars are left behind, often to fester in our subconscious.  The criticism of children by their parents should be looked at as a crime, as for any parent that works to build an inferiority complex in their children or any children for that matter through the use of criticism and embarrassment need to be punished for that crime. 

Employers who understand human nature tend to get so much more from their employees by fueling the positive fires and staying as far away from the criticism as possible.  Constructive suggestion done from the positive works, criticism focused on the negative fails, every time.  Parents can and do accomplish great results with children using the positive-constructive approach.  Criticism tends to build fear in the hearts of people and is great at developing resentment, but will never build love, devotion or respect. 

Criticism and Embarrassment - Be Gone!

The fear of embarrassment is really a sub-fear of the fear of criticism, but I have received so many emails regarding the fear of being embarrassed that I decided that giving it a deeper look would help us all understand that there is no reason to ever feel embarrassed, hence no reason to fear criticism.  These two fears really take little work to understand and then once understood, we are on our way to putting them to rest and eliminating them from our lives.  Again, this is a look-inside ourselves and learn process; see if any of these 7-signs are part of your repertoire and if they are - you know exactly what to work on to eliminate being fearful of any criticism and all embarrassments. 

Flashback; High School - Ya, you remember too, don’t you?  For me it was this pop up down the third base line, Benny had a bit too much mustard in his hot dog (for those of you who are not fans of baseball, it means I was quite the b ig shot when I played), and with an incredibly stupid and showy attempt at a routine fly ball, I let it drop and the game was lost.  I felt Embarrassed like I was not going to be able to live my life ever again.; but I got over it and learned an incredibly valuable lesson - I make a much better first baseman and use two hands no matter what - I know preach that to the kids I coach; TWO HANDS!  Maybe it was braces or you were awkwardly tall for your age, too short, too fat or simply too skinny?  Man-o-man do I wish I knew then what I know.  Teaching youth my Ya-ttitude^TM is now something I really focus on.  I try to instill lots of positives into their lives, listen we all remember that being a teen or a young adult in our twenties was not an easy transition and though it seems tougher to teach today’s youth, I have continued to work on it as hard as I work with my clients. 

NOTE:   As an adjunct to this post I am going to launch a page that will be filled with all of your stories of embarrassing moments and you can send in those stories as I will launch that page over the next few days.  It is an opportunity to show you and everyone else that the fear from embarrassment is just to be ignored!

The Seven Signs:

Being self-conscious is the first of all signals.  I recently spoke about some exercises that can be done that will help with controlling nervousness and unwanted or even uncontrollable body movements.  Concentration on Controlling Yourself will help you immensely!  It teaches you to be under control and stops those movements of the eyes, hands and other limbs that you are doing uncontrollably.  This is generally expressed by being timid or nervous in conversation and when meeting strangers. 

A few glitches in your pleasing personality will signal issues for you as well.  You inability to make decisions, which can be helped by reading The Abulia, Decisions Made Easy post.  If you find yourself Side-stepping issues and using the all-to-easy “agreeing with others” approach without careful examination of their intentions or opinions that will be a definite warning of the second sign.

A general Lack of Poise is the third sign.  This is usually evident by an issue with your voice control, nervousness in the presence of others and a triad of “poor” - Poor Memory, Poor Posture and Poor Mind Control.  Work on these with a visit here: Concentration; Ya-ttitude^TM-style!

I mentioned the issue of Keeping up with the Jones’ in the post Fear; I Ain’t Scared of No Poverty.  This sign is all about you and your Extravagance.  If you are in the habit of spending beyond your means and limit because you want to be accepted then time to look inside and stop!

Initiative and Desire (Concentration 102: A Ya-ttitude^TM of Desire) are the key focal points of success.  A general lack of either and both of these - well you guessed it - the Fifth Sign.  Desire and your Maxim of Effort will take you all the way to your success.  Do not be afraid to use them - they are your life’s-blood and first-best option when it comes to defining YOUR success!

Do you feel inferior; to your friends, boss or coworkers; to anyone?  Well here it is Sign Number Six! An Inferiority Complex which is usually expressed by over-seeking approval from others points to the fear of criticism and embarrassment.   You will tend to brag; bigger car, bigger home, bigger words whatever it is you need to be bigger and better.  It is designed for you to seek approval from others.  Key here - Love you.  Once you have figured out that you are the best person you know, the best person you can possibly be, then others will find it easy to love you for you -as- you love you for you now too.  Sometimes the good of the one outweighs the good of the many, especially when the One is you and you are trying to find yourself.  Find yourself first, and then others will find you too!

Remember:

They don’t care what you know, until they know that you care!

Finally a universal Lack of Ambition gives us the seventh sign.  Mental and physical laziness, Procrastination and delays in reaching decisions are the start; but worse are the beginning of a well-defined network of gossipers and others to criticize and be criticized by.  Here is the Negative begets Negative in full swing.  Surround yourself with positive and you will always get positive.  Be sure to always give positive and you will always get positive too!

Ya-ttitude^TM-Faith:  Positive Faith through the removal of negatives that are blocking the flow of your faith to both your conscious and sub conscious mind.

We have all suffered through embarrassment, but once understood and ignored, it really just goes away.  Ya - this on really is just that easy.  Fear of embarrassment rears its ugly head way too often in life, but you already have faith in you and in what you do, you know you are the best you can be and are always trying to get even better, so why be embarrassed - simply a waste of time and energy.  You are my best friend, wife, husband, boss and lover - I know you are wonderful and so do you - hence - never a reason to be embarrassed - ever!

Remember:  Those who are trying to embarrass and criticize you are suffering from their own fears, a general lack of self confidence and are in desperate need of some Ya-ttitude^TM. 

You might want to tell those who are going out of their way to try to embarrass or criticize you that they need to visit this Ya-ttitude^TM blog and inject some positive into their life before they speak another word to you. 

So - ignore them; surround yourself with positive energy and praise!  Don’t let those fears from Criticism and Embarrassment sap and of your positive energy, and of your Ya-ttitude^TM.  The further you remove yourself from the source the sooner and quicker these fears are gone.  Have faith in you and your journey - I already do!

Next Time:

We are half-way Home with

Fear; Illness and Disease

Your Personal Recession Buster

The fear of poverty was not my original choice for the first fear to explore, understand and be comfortable enough with for it to be eliminated from our list of great fears.  My original first fear to work on was going to be the fear of death, which is almost the Universal Fear, if one of the fears, can be considered universal.  But the world today and the situations within has made me change the order a bit.  The only advantage to starting with the Fear of Poverty is it is the worse of all the fears.  It attacks us at every level and on every emotion.  It is a debilitating fear capable of sucking us dry of all desire, ambition, hope and imagination. 

There is a ton of talk about the recession, the price of gas, the housing market and the job market.  The more negative talk there is surrounding these issues the greater the possibility of our fears taking over us.  But if you have your head buried in the morning paper or staring at CNN, FOX News or your local new channel all day log, listening for the whispers of doom, then you have already set you fate solid.  You are on the downward spiral that the fear from poverty will bring you.  Poverty and Richness follow two very specific paths, two very distinct paths and two paths that sometimes cross over each other, may run parallel for a while, but eventually head in complete different directions.  

Remember:  Your Richness, just as your success can be defined in a myriad of ways.  Richness of financial wealth is just one, but of course your richness can be anything that you want it to be. 

Remember:  There are many people in today’s world that have acquired richness of financial wealth only to feel empty and unfulfilled.  They search for their richness elsewhere; richness is a state of being as well as a state of your Union.

Fear of Poverty is a state of mind; nothing else; but an extremely strong state of mind.  A state of mind that can destroy ones ability to succeed, it effects your ability to reason, wipes out your imagination, all but totally eliminates your ability to rely on yourself, eradicates enthusiasm, deters enthusiasm, undermines enthusiasm, and eliminates enthusiasm, it makes uncertainty your new path, teaches you about the worlds of procrastination, annihilates your initiative and erodes your self-control and will power.  It decimates your ability to focus on what you should be doing and allows doubt to replace confidence and procrastination to replace ambition. 

You’re getting the point here - right? 

Bad - very, very bad.

This is a fear that takes some work to eliminate, but is quite easy to understand why its elimination, understanding and control is of paramount importance to our success.  This fear is the most destructive of all the fears as it has the ability to permeate your daily live at every level.  It is probably the key reason I stopped reading the daily News Papers (sans the crossword and sports section) and stopped watching news on Television.  It just seems that reporters just have to go out of their way to push the negative side of the issue.  Now I understand that it is their jobs to report the news, but it has always amazed me the ratio of negative news to positive news on any given telecast.  It is an unrealistic ratio if you actually jut think about it for a moment.  The more you listen to or hear the negative side of an issue; the negative news (which is the same thing over and over again everyday) the more it becomes part of you conscious and subconscious (even worse) mind.  Unfortunately just as we work the positive thoughts into our mind so we can allow our subconscious mind to help us the same rule works with negative thoughts.  Those negative thoughts permeate our minds and crush our spirits almost on impact.  You have to learn to avoid contact with repeated waves of negativity.   The more you hear it the deeper it penetrates the subconscious and the harder it is to remove and the easier it is to believe true and fall prey to the negative.

Imagine how much better you would feel each day when you hear the newscaster report that “there is no recession, it was just a mistake in bookkeeping, and all points show a rapid turn-around.”  “On today’s recap of the new, we are not going to spend our entire day talking to you about… and hiring experts on… and sending in news crews for…”  This is the news…  You know your day is much better when you get your shot of news - in a quickie - and move on with your life.  If you continue to believe we are headed for a recession - you will be!  Run your day and your life as if there is nothing negative ever on your horizon.  If you accept the negative the negative will accept you, take over you and ruin you. 

Now that we have realized that The Fear of Poverty is something we really need to understand and control, so we can eliminate it here are a few tell-tale signs of the fear and once you realize these signals, elimination is all the easier.

A general lack of ambition:  This is quite easy to understand isn’t it?  I mean once we are pummeled with all the “worries of the world” that we constantly hear, isn’t’ it just easy to not care and to give up?  Here is your first signal that you are giving in to that fear.  Are you busy making alibis as to why you cannot make it any better?  Are you starting to believe the alibis you are conjuring up?  Take a look at this great list of alibis and see just how many of them you are currently using.  Realize that not one of them have any bearing on your life and your success.  Once you understand that you control your future and your drive and desire are the vehicles to your grand riches.  You too will realize that time spent coming up with alibis can be used more constructively to create and design your master plan of success. 

Worry is another grand thief of your success and a sure signal to your fear of poverty.  Why worry about this when you are the reason it can be overcome.  If you have faith in you and the things you are doing and your plan and your desire and your friends, allies and family you are quick to realize you are worrying for naught.  Stop the worrying.  Use the energy that all this worrying is bringing about more constructively.  I think it is Time to take a look at the 4-step plan to your success and design and tweak it into your game plan of success.  Bye Bye Worry!

Failing to be able to make decisions is another signal and a keynote to fear of poverty.  You are so paralyzed by this fear that a simple decision cannot be made much less a complex one.  You might want to go back and reread this section titled Curing Abulia which is your step-by-step plan to getting over that fear of decisions.  Make a decision - any decision and get on with it.  Standing by watching the world pass you by is doing you no good, and as you let each one of your great ideas stay undecided, someone else will be benefiting from it as they have decided to go on with it and take the chance.  The old nothing ventured nothing gained works well here.  But remember you are allowed to make a mistake, you are not allowed to quit!

Being over-cautious is another indicator.  It is understood that you automatically go into hibernation mode with your ideas and your money the minute you feel the fear of poverty.  It only adds to the hysteria.  Do not forget that your success is just ahead of you and you need to do whatever it takes to get it, including staying focused and confident in your decisions.  Amongst the overly cautious are the members of the great Nation of Procrasti-Nation.  This is place you do not want to live and you don’t even want to spend a weekend visiting.  Those of you who are card carrying members of the great Procrasti-Nation need to take that card out of your wallet and destroy it!  Here is an old post of mine called Ya-ttitude^TM Battle Lines Are Drawn that will show you the way to coup that Nation and become a member of the “I want it’s!”

Last but definitely not least is your negative Mental Attitude.  A positive mental attitude is your greatest defense against fear - all fears and any fears.  To that realize that a negative mental attitude is your fears greatest ally.  So you now know which side you need to be on it.  Sign on and salute your positive attitude - Your positive Ya-ttitude^TM

We covered a whole lot with this section.  I recommend reading this a few times.  Or better yet - cut and paste it into a word document and print it out.  Read it a few times and then read it a few more times.  Make it part of your mind-game against fear. 

When you have your plan, your desire, your group of allies and you mind shut tight against negative influences you have not time to fear poverty or no reason to as you know where you are going and when you are to get there.  You are one step closer to that success.  You are one step closer to achieving your riches!

Next time:

Fear; Embarrassment and Criticism fall by the wayside