One Rotten Apple Spoils the Whole Bunch… Baby!
July 23, 2008
One Rotten Apple Spoils the Whole Bunch… Baby!
It seems to me that bad attitudes compound faster than credit card interest. I know from personal interaction that whenever I speak to people and especially when I do a one-on-one consulting job a good attitude spreads very quickly. A few motivational quotes, some positive words, a plan, the method and the means in which to succeed help in spreading the good mood and Ya-ttitudeTM around quickly. People really do want their worlds and their lives to be 
better and will grasp the Ya-ttitudeTM of positive life with both hands or embrace it wide arms wide-spread. I can vouch for it; I have seen it; and I live it every day.
There is still just one thing that is much more contagious than good attitude is and that is a bad attitude and negative attitudes. I really do have trouble understanding it. Is it “fashionable” or “cool” to be negative? My guess is that you can make many more “wise-guy-” or “smart-ass-” style comments while you are trying to show off your cool new negativity. Do they look smart? Do they think they look smart because they can argue the “negative” side of a conversation or drag someone down to their level? I am sure they believe they are - at least in their own eyes and mind. And then the mob-mentality takes over and each negative comment and commentator is busy trying to outdo the other.
I was recently part of a post-submission on Digg.com and it seemed that the submission got so hot that it hit the front page as a very popular piece. In order to get to the front page of Digg.com the piece has to be liked and voted on by quite a few people. So it was quite obvious that the article or the topic or something had the Diggers digging away; and then it went popular and hit the front page. A few people commented and then one or two made what they deemed funny but degrading comments on the topic and the writer and then the mob-mentality took over. And they had a blast with it - each negative comment trying to out do the other, and each time someone questioned the attitude or the reasoning they got blasted as well. Why? Because people with negative attitudes seek to drag you down to their level. They believe that there is no reason you need to be positive because they are sure there is no reason they should be positive. Their problem is that they are so stuck in the negative-rut that they cannot see the bright and beautiful positive light just in front of them.
This is why when we talk about the 4-step plan to success I emphasize the 3rd step: Your mind tightly closed to all negative influence. Those negative influences can come from places you least expect; friends, family and acquaintances. Many others have a three-step plan and do not include this step, but I feel that it is as important if not THE most important of the steps. It is definitely a step that can trip you up most easily, as we have become accustomed to listening to the opinions of others, especially where friends and family are concerned.
So as the Digger and the Writer found out. Take a stand, tell it like it is. Be confident in you and the things you do and never let anyone enter and take control of YOUR mind. It is yours and you are the only person who will or will not allow entry. Choose the information you assimilate and absorb wisely and above all else be YOU!
And because this post was made on such a sad day I will include a Special Estelle Getty Tribute (Sophia on the Golden Girls)
| 4.2 (5 people) |
Posted by 
Comments
36 Responses to “One Rotten Apple Spoils the Whole Bunch… Baby!”
Got something to say?
-
Awarded by Amy to Ya-ttitude
I am always a positive person and it truly puzzles me when I see such negativity. Don’t people understand that an optimistic and friendly attitude will not only get the further, but also make their day to day lives more pleasant? The important thing is not to let negative people drag you down. Cheers to keeping your glass always half full!
Excellent advice and perspective from you Benny…. as always!
Kelly
I have said it before and will say it again - Positive getsd you positive and negative will get you negative…
Give positive to get positive and get positive to give positive!
Excellent post! Unfortunately, I’ve been subject to that mob mentality and it’s not fun!
You can learn the hard way, but it is good if you know that it IS very healthy to cut off that negative influence ASAP!
Agreed - The sooner you cut off the negativity and get away from it - the faster you will be better!
“A few people commented and then one or two made what they deemed funny but degrading comments on the topic and the writer and then the mob-mentality took over.” - You
Very true. And the most amazing part is that so many people never bother to actually read the article. Too bad. There’s some good content out there that for some reason people are unwilling to go the extra click to see.
RHM
You are right. People just jump on the negative bandwagon as they feel they are being funny or smart - or worse - one of the bunch…
So very true. Seems people usually don’t even get past my “Christian” Title! However, as the Lord has taught us, “Do not return Railing for railing… and a soft word turns away wrath” I’ve seen that in many posts. People calm down and “think” if they’re not beat up in return. Thanks for the post!
killing them with kindness works - but often it riles the cat-callers. Best thing to do - is just pack it up and walk away.
I thank you, Benny, for pointing out one of the sad facts of not just DIgg, but other social networking sites–some people are just mean. I like your attitude (or is it ya-ttitude?) in that we can control our reactions and how we feel about things, be it unnecessary cruelty during a mob attack on digg, or anything we put our minds to. And RIP to a great funny lady…
peace,
mike
Hey Mike - it is a sad fact of many parts of life. The social ONLINE network is just an extension of our Social OFFLINE network. It is easier for the people to be “negative” online as they can hide behind their screen - but we both know they exist on the other side as well.
I just logged in and found out what happened to the Digg post. How shameful. The kind of mob mentality that would lead to burying quality content to the detriment of the whole Digg community grieves me.
That is a real big issue with me too. Some of the stuff they bury out of spite is quality and could benefit many people.
Your story of what happened to the post on Digg It reminds me very much of what happens in politics and the movies or any celebrity or national figure. When a person is an underdog they are rooted for. However, once they are successful the claws come out and they begin to be ripped apart.
It’s sad how others can only build their own esteem by attempting to rip others down. Not good ya-ttitude is it?
Ya! It is amazing that people can “feel good” about making others feel bad. It is negative attitude and the Anti Ya-ttitude.
It’s sad but true about the one rotten apple. Your mind is yours and it is the only place we can truly have freedom. There’s no need to follow the masses and be dragged down with them. Good on you for speaking out Benny. Ya-ttitude is certainly worth having and keeping.
Your Mind is YOUR Mind - don’t give its control to ANY ONE!
Oh Benny this is one of the absolute most powerful peices you’ve done. The last two paragraphs are profoundly powerful. I love your words:
“Your mind tightly closed to all negative influence. Those negative influences can come from places you least expect; friends, family and acquaintances. Many others have a three-step plan and do not include this step, but I feel that it is as important if not THE most important of the steps.”
I agree 100%
Also your words:
“Be confident in you and the things you do and never let anyone enter and take control of YOUR mind. It is yours and you are the only person who will or will not allow entry. Choose the information you assimilate and absorb wisely and above all else be YOU!”
Oh this is TRUTH loud, clear and clean. YES!!! We should all read and reread these words when we need to remember this. Good for you Benny…I am so proud of you. I simply loved this post. More than I can express here.
Hugs to you,
Robin
Your commenst are always so great Robin.
It is one of the things I have tried to tell people for a long time. You control your mind and with that control you control yourself and have a better grasp of your surroundings. Never allow others to take that from you.
This is a great post! It is always good to be reminded of how powerful negative thinking is and can be.
We seem to forget sometimes that it is more powerful to walk away, and stay focused, rather then stay, listen and let the bad vibes take it’s negative toll on our attitudes.
Thanks Benny for this gentle reminder!
Hey Kim - You ae correct here. Why would you want to stand there and allow someone to just go off on their negative binge. Get up and get out. You never want yourself surrounded by negative. I realize that their are times that the world of negative gets to you - remember - Use the “Smile” to ward off the attacks…
One of the best posts ever!
Some people are nothing but negative. I submitted a story to Reddit and it immediately got a negative comment. The comment came so fast that the person that left it couldn’t possibly have read the story. I checked to see what other comments this person left on other stories and discovered that EVERY comment they left was negative.
I think for some people there’s a kind of euphoria associated with being negative. They actually get off on it.
Mr Rooster…
Funny how the posts that are written that I think are not really even worthy of being a post seem to end up my most popular or “blogger crtically acclaimed.”
Your Line: “I think for some people there’s a kind of euphoria associated with being negative. They actually get off on it.”
It is so true - I think there are poeple out there (I know it but would rather not really admit it) who spend the day searching for stories or blogs or people to just douse with their negative karma.
Ah-ha Benny said it greatly once again -
Been missing in action from Digg and other sites this past week, trying to catch up. Shameful though, I have not read any of the digg in question - and from the sounds of it, I may just not want to.
Negativity is like a weed, can’t always keep them out of the garden, but sure can try like heck! Invasive and unwanted, in my book!
Great write up Benny - thanks
You are so right - and positivity is the perfect weed killer
As usual a stellar post Benny…
I don’t digg, stumble etc., so I can’t comment on what happened on the Digg site other than to say sadly “negativity begets negativity”, pretty basic…I stay clear of these kinds of situations.
I do my best to be positive as I know what being negative does to a person…we have one life to live, being negative is such a waste of life…it doesn’t leave much room for happiness and enjoyment…
Enjoy your day!
Cheers
Being negative means you will always be disappointed — being positive means you may get disappointed every so often - but will lead a much more fulfilled life!
Excellent post. I agree with what you say. However, even the most positive of people can be dragged down those “yucky” roads. You say “be confident in you and the things you do and never let anyone enter and take control of YOUR mind.” You are absolutely right, but it is also easier said than done.
Some people have that “self confidence” built in while others need constant practice and deliberate attempts at “believing in yourself.” I am constantly “seeking confidence” and trying to conjure up the courage within myself to do that which many times frightens me the most. I “allow” others negativity to affect me only when I doubt myself. I guess that’s your point…I should not doubt myself but instead trust myself. The question then is how do we learn to trust ourselves, what we think, what we believe?
Is knowledge and experience the only way?
Always enjoy your posts. Thank you for sharing your insight.
Marlene,
Knowledge and experience are wonderful tools. And if you can focus your experience and knowledge really organzie them - then those tools become power. But the real tool that you need in your tool-kit of life is faith. Have faith in YOU - Have faith in the things YOU do. It comes with confidence, but it also builds confidence at the same time - so it is a double-does of Ya-ttitude!
Faith is the anti-fear!
I agree, great post! The weeds in my garden seem to grow faster then my veggies … I can choose to take out the weeds I don’t want and help the plants I want to grow and harvest what I can eat I need discipline, persistence, and a busload of energy. That’s just the way life is and it’s OK f you know how to deal with it! Keep going, Benny!
As long as you can stay focused on the grand plan of yours then the outside interference is just white noise. You plan is your great weed-killer.
Who was it that said: “you are the company you keep”?
I’m typically a “the-glass-is-half-full” kinda guy…you know, I walk around with that “happy-go-lucky” attitude (what can I say, I’m an optimist). At the end of the day, everything is good in life! My parents always taught me not to sweat the small stuff, and ultimately, it’s all small stuff.
I try not to let other people’s worries bother me and bring me down. I might sympathize for them and their negative mood, but I’m sure not going to let me bring me down. So for the most part, I try and keep positive company. Because at the end of the day, I have two choices: 1.) I can focus on all that is good and set about accomplishing what I want in life, or 2.) I can sit and complain about how it all sucks (which would get me no where). I choose #1.
Ricardo -
There is a huge difference between helping someone who is down and sympathizing with them and helping to move them forward and people who are just trying to brow-beat you into submission. You should be spreading your positive to those who seem to be down - you can lift them up with you!
Life isn’t easy. Sure, a positive attitude is the key to getting through it. But a negative attitude should be able to be understood and met with compassion by those who are feeling positive. Pretending it doesn’t exist or the person isn’t feeling negative isn’t realistic. It’s nihilism, which is a form of pessimism. I have a hard time believing that someone who is truly positive really needs to worry about being brainwashed or “controlled” by the negative nelly. Truly positive people are stronger than that and know that negativity is just as much a part of daily life as positivity is
Randy -
You make two great and distinctively different points.
You should definitely be compassionate to those who are negative; you should be automatically giving positive. Your positive will work to lift the spirits of those who ae down, or negative. But those are not the people we are talking about.
And…
Positive people can have bad days; have things that affect their lives that make them feel negative as well. There have been many devout religious people who after a tragic event have turned their back on or shunned their faith… Your strength comes from within, but sometimes there are earth-shattering tremors. As well, there are many of us who try to live a positive life, and es we know and try our best to shut off those bad influences, but - I am not just writing for them so they can shoot me an email or a comment and tell me how right I am. I write to help others understand and learn how to take advantage of this methodology and help themselves to what they want… all of it!
[…] Digg, you know exactly what I am talking about. There is a great article about this called “One Rotten Apple Spoils the Whole Bunch… Baby!” which explores this situation. It seems that when certain people are online, they lose any […]
[…] (Benny Greenberg, 2008 ) […]