Fear; The Final Frontier
May 21, 2008
Fear; The Final Frontier!
Fear is definitely not the place that “no man has gone before’” but let me take you on this trek. We will seek out the reasons behind those “ten hot-button fears” and see how a deeper exploration and understanding will show you just how easy it is to colonize them; one-by-one!
Let’s start with a simple List of the Ten Fears…
- Fear From Poverty
- Fear of Criticism
- Fear from Embarrassment
- Fear of Illness
- Fear of Disease
- Fear of the Loss of Love
- Fear of the loss of a Loved One
- Fear of Getting Old/Old Age
- Fear of The Loss of Liberty/Freedom
- Fear of/from Death
Remember: You cannot simply announce to yourself that you are going to have faith and “poof” you have faith; if it were only that easy. And, no they haven’t invented a pill for it either.
The best way to develop faith is to find you some quiet place and some quiet time; I really like to do this in bed as I lay down with my eyes closed, fully relaxed and focused. I use what I have learned. The same things you have learned over the previous 4 or 5 posts.
Yes; there is a method to my madness. A Ya-ttitudeTM to the plan.
With my quiet time and place secured I begin my focused-faith. My mind becomes cleared of all the negative thoughts that may have slipped in through the day. I really like doing this starting with a big smile on my face; it is impossible to think negative thoughts with a smile on your face. That is a great way for you to build a negative-thought-blockade - a simple smile…
Give yourself about half an hour and these two simple steps.
In your mind and your minds-eye express your desire for accomplishment of a purpose and create that definite plan for its achievement; see it as you are living it in your mind-written script.
Start acting on your desires backed with desire and enthusiasm building your excitement as a path to your goals.
Now work these out in your mind. See them coming to fruition. Watch as it happens. You are living them out in your mind. All of those accomplishments you want to achieve are being achieved. Success is already a major part of your life. Your greatest goals are all happening right before your very minds-eye. Your dreams and plans your hopes and wishes they are all becoming reality. The ARE reality. Yes! Watch them unfold and enjoy them as they were already a done-deal! Really work it!
Better than a Hollywood Movie
It is a Ya-ttitudeTM-Movie.
This exercise should be done at least three times a week. I actually work this mind magic at least 5 nights a week; as there will be other mind-games to add to our arsenal soon.
Next Time:
Fear; I Ain’t Afraid of No Poverty
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Benny GreenbergComments
50 Responses to “Fear; The Final Frontier”
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Fear can be so subtle. There are so many neat little words for it too, such as shy,nervous,or extra cautious.
People often push away the very things they want rather than face the fear of losing those things later for what ever reason.
I look forward to your I ain’t scared of no poverty post
You are so right Pamela - But most of the subtle little words people use to describe their fears are basically a subset of the Big Ten. But you are correct there are many many fears with many many different names we all call them. The only way to get over them is to understand them and beat them at their own game with a good habit to replace the bad one.
Benny… an amazing, heart felt post! Absolutely brilliant!
Everyone on earth can resonate.
Thank you!
LOVE - Ya-ttitude
Hey Christine,
Really glad you liked it and felt it. Now all I have to figure out is how to get EVERYONE on this site
Ben
My only fear is for my sons future in a world that seems bent on self destruction.
The fear from the Loss of Love or a Lost One is coming up in a few days. Fear; The Love Connection.
I have four children and understand exactly.
Stay tuned…
Ben
As usual an amazing post Benny, great one yesterday as well…I may explain myself a little differently, but the process is the same!!!
I was called away before I could comment yesterday…
If we allow it, fear can be debilitating, it can prevent people from enjoying life to the fullest, or force them to do something they don’t want to do simply because they are afraid not to, etc…how people act and react to their fears is important.
I’m not sure if we can completely eliminate fear from our lives but…. I am positive we can control our fear so that it doesn’t control our lives…but first, we have to believe/have faith that we can…and as you say work on that belief/faith on a regular basis.
My belief/faith is in myself, it comes from my mind…I constantly “talk” to myself…not out loud of course …:o) it is what works for me!
I look forward to the next post Benny. Enjoy your day!
Cheers
I talk to myself all the time it is great personal therapy. I agree, fear can not be totally eliminated and should not as it is a system we have to trigger information that needs to be processed. But we can eliminate the fear itself from crippling us through understanding and faith.
Now if only the world would catch on and start practicing “Ya-ttitude™” instead of pouring money into drug companies.
Great post, as always.
Word is spreading - Ya-ttitude™ for all!
Maybe if I had the budget of those pharmaceuticals….
Thanks SxC
Ben
Excellent post, love this! I sit and do this as often as I can, closing the eyes and clearing the mind.
A great visualization exercise to go along with this is as your eyes are closed, imagine, breathing in plus signs, and exhaling minus signs. It’s a great way to put that smile on your face.
Wonderful post!
That is pretty cool Susie. That is one I never heard of - and I am betting there are many like that - as in breathing in “light colors” and exhaling “dark colors” - It never did anything for me - but I worked with a young woman a few weeks ago - who used it as a great cleansing tool!
She swore by it!
Ben
Excuse my ignorance, but what’s the difference between disease and illness?
You are not ignorant - to the contrary you are very right. The definitions are different but essentially the fear is the same. If you hang around - when I do the Fear from Illness/Disease post you will see that I combine them because I felt the same way as you do.
I think that if you fear illness - odds are real good that you fear disease as well…
Ben
But either way you have the same painful suffering.
It was my intention to delve into these, three posts from now.
Fear from Poverty
Fear of Criticism / Fear from Embarrassment
Fear of Illness / Fear of Disease
In that order…
But no - you do not have the same painful suffering. Just think for a second - and apply that thought to what you may feel when ill vs. having a disease - and in each and every case it is different. I had High Blood pressure for example… and suffered no painful suffering at all. I adjusted diet and added exercise and relaxation techniques to my lifestyle and I no longer suffer from the disease.
Give it a few days - or shoot me an email and I will discuss it further with you - it would be my pleasure.
Ben
Fear and the ability to respond to a real threat it is part of our self preservation mechanism. Naturally we ought not to want to rid ourselves of it completely. What we need to be shed of is the suble self talk that becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. That means that we do need to speak to our inner self. We do need to hold the hand of the little kid inside and reassure and reason with him or her so we can breathe and let go of the unjustified and maginified and even phoney baloney fears that cripple us.
It’s so amazing that you are charting this course which is the course I find that I have been sailing too. I particularly identified with what Heather had to say in reply to your post. And I am honored to be a friend to you both.
I read this and hope that at this point you day has become a better one. I know that you have the inner strength and beauty to turn what many would think a bad day into a day filled with rainbows and balloons.
To quote part of your comment “What we need to be shed of is the subtle self talk that becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. That means that we do need to speak to our inner self.”
So true, if we tell ourselves we are afraid, we are. If we tell ourselves we are going to fail - we will. If we tell ourselves we can’t we won’t!
When you decide to have that conversation with yourself. Turn on your ya-ttitude™ and let all the positive flow. Do not EVER TELL YOURSELF that you can’t, won’t or are not able to… You can - you will and you are more capable than anyone else!
Ben
I did not hear about the light/dark colors, but that would make sense. I like the positive/negative though.
I also have to comment on your fear issue’s - what about fear based business practices.. I think thats how some employers run businesses, and I completely think that can breed disease/illness. I’ve seen it done, and the energy levels begin to drop and the negativity comes home with you - and it’s quite hard to shake that off.
I actually mentioned it on the previous post. Here is a snippit…
“Take it one step further; think about the effect it has on those around you. Workers, who are afraid of their own shadows, tend to make many more mistakes than those who are allowed to work in a positive environment. Telling your employees or family or anyone for that matter that they are wrong constantly actually creates an air of “making mistakes” for them. Positive reinforcement works to your advantage much better in these circumstances. I know there are many managers out in the world who believe this “lead from force” or “keep them under your thumb” theories are just great. You might want to inquire about the level of their employee turnover or the amount of money they feel they need to maintain security levels with their staff; or that amount of money they have lost do to the lack of security.”
And I will be on it again on an upcoming one as well…
Fear is really tough to deal with, the more techniques we have to address fears the better we can move through life without being afraid to live. Without being scared of life.
I agree. We need to understand the fear and be its Master not allowing it the chance to master us
Every single time I lay down to go to sleep I use the method you have described.
However, in just a little different way. When I think of it as being meditation it simply doesn’t work for me.
Now of course being a Christian I also say my prayers every night. But, now my prayers mainly focus on being grateful for all of my blessings.
Then after my prayers I simply open my mind to God and ask him to communicate with me. At that point I become extremely relaxed and I can fell the positive flow coming.
I usually fall asleep during this process. And you would be amazed at how many questions are answered for me using this process.
Sometimes I am guided to places that I didn’t even know I needed to visit within myself. And any and all questions seem to be answered.
It has become my most favorite time of the day or night. I have never experienced this kind of powerful connection before using this process.
And you are correct about faith. I have always believed and had faith. But, my faith is growing stronger everyday since starting this process.
Now of course I still have those moments of fear and self doubt. But, I simply take my quiet time and soon after all is well again.
Maybe I am crazy…who knows? But it works for me!!
Great post…..see I was led here today also. And guess what? I just awoke from a little nap less than an hour ago.:-)
Hello Shinade,
I believe congrats are in order… such a cutie the new little one - A real Blessing.
Now - first welcome to Ya-ttitude™. I love when new commenter’s enter our family and add to the quality of the discussions.
You are not crazy - that is a great way to go to sleep. I have a secret - but I will share it later - and then you may think I am crazy - but soon enough we will put all of these bits of info together and create a great nightly and morning ritual.
I do a similar thing every night and have no trouble falling asleep and waking with great new ideas and directions.
Your system is fantastic!
Ben
Ben, doesn’t this in some way focus on wants needs? As a Buddhist, I focus on not having expectations. I’m not as good at it as I’d like, but I have found that not having them prevents fear and from being hurt.
No expectations is very much similar to my recovery from alcohol and drugs.
Yes I very much focuses on wants. That is the direction I steer the boat Brad. I want you to be better. I want you to attain your ultimate success. I want you to get everything you want to have - and I will work with you to help you get it.
Ben
I do have tons of fear in my life. It sometimes holds me to do things that I really want.It’s horrible.
Tons of fear is not a good thing. If you shoot me an email - I would be more than happy to see what I can do to help you with the faith needed to eliminate them
Bennyinny@yahoo.com
Looking at my post I didn’t mean to make it sound like I didn’t have any wants. Heavens I’m not sitting on the floor all day gazing at the wall.
I guess my point is that wants are one thing but expectations are another.
Understood Brad. But it is OK to expect of yourself. You have the right to expect much and more of yourself. And YOU SHOULD!
If you expected “what” from yourself is the creation of fear a developing issue?
Ben
Hi Ben, really enjoyed this post and was reading other people’s comments as well. Although not a Christian (not anything particular other than Life itself and Nature are my church) I do believe in the ‘IS” or the Great Creator or “God” or the “Life/Love force” that moves through all things, IS all things….something larger and yet part of myself. But I like what Shinade said…or the part about giving THANKS. Only for me it is something I try to do the time. It is especially helpful in times of strees or fear in terms of helping someone feel less stressed or fearful. I think whenever we give thanks to our God…to Life, we immediately are connected to an eternal source of love and compassion that can help us deal with pain, sorrow, fear, etc.
I’ve used a phrase for years that is also very powerful in bringing about a positive feeling in the body. Each person can adapt it to their God. But I say, “Let your thoughts be my thoughts. Let your words be my words. Let your actions be my actions.” And then I simply do all I can and let go. Whenever I do that I feel a great calm and sense of inner strength, insight and peace. It some how makes me more than I am….or makes me what I REALLY am. What we ALL are. Thanks Ben.
Robin http://nakedineden.com/nakedinedenblog/
PS I was touched by your actions and reponse. You are very kind and sooooo funny!
I do a lot of “every day in every way - I am getting better” - followed by a thank you for the “was” – “is” and “yet to come.” We all have someone or “it” to thank. Whether you believe in an all powerful or yourself - Faith is the key to fighting the fears.
I am still touched by your recent article and dedication.
For those of you who want a real “how to fight your fear and win” articles go here and read!
http://nakedineden.com/nakedinedenblog/?p=114
Benny
Thanks for a simple yet real approach to life issues. I look forward to your series on this post.
Thanks for stopping in. Great Blog you write! I would have posted the next part - but some technical difficulties have held me back - So look for Monday or Tuesday for the continuations - I think there are 7 more parts in the series… to work on fear and understand and eliminate!
Now you tell me…I could have saved thousands on therapy….Dr. Benny
Great POst
If you feel real bad - you can always mail me the checks. If you hang around - I promise - you will feel real good!
Ben, another great post! I think fear used to be useful, but now our minds use it as a excuse to prevent us from reaching our full potential. Nice Ya-ttitude meditation technique :P. Interesting take on it.
Thank You G -
There is more to come G -
Fear has its advantages as an early warning device - but after that It is up to us to stay in control and understand that our faith will replace those fears and we will be what we want top be!
Benny
You make is sound so easy. My biggest Fear is that the Breast Cancer I had will come back.
I am in my 12th year cancer free but it still sits in the back of mind. Whether I want it there or not.
Oh by the way I am subscribing to have your posts emailed to me. So I can keep up
Welcome aboard the Ya-ttitude™ train Wendy. I just love our ever-increasing reader base!
Your fear of Illness and Disease? (A TOPIC I will be getting into in the next few posts]
C’mon Wendy - Let’s look at that. It has been 12-years. It is gone, live you life and enjoy your life. Do not even give it a second thought. Why would you be dwelling on it anyway? Does it do you any good to think about it? What do you gain from pondering the thought? Nothing So - forget it. Move on and just let it go. Starting tomorrow, today, now! Just be a cancer-free person - oh wait - you are! So why even worry!
Ben
Yes indeed it has been 12 years and that almost excites me.
It came back in my aunt in her 10th year and in her 15th year.
Unless you have suffered the treatments of Chemo and radiation and dread the thoughts of having to do it again.
Well let us just say it ain’t pretty.
Oh my aunt finally passed away from all the surgeries and treatments.
Not be afraid hmmmm….. hard to do my friend.
Let’s look at it this way. I love life. Appreciate the small things more now than I ever I did.
I take time to stop and smell the rush.
I don’t ponder nor frett about it, quite the opposite. Takes nothing to bring it to fore front of my mind though.
I was a bit confused here at first. Seeing that at first you tell me that you have the fear that your illness will come back, and then you tell me that you do not ponder nor fret the illness. You live life to the fullest and stop to smell those roses, the fish you have caught and the rain that makes weekends a warm comfy couch.
I did not tell you that it was easy to forget – and probably impossible to forget. I also never said it was not easy to get over this fear and the recurrences of the fear.
I know it is hard, but as we go along, the training of the focus and concentration will allow you to make the sliding to the back of the mind easier than bringing to the forefront. And with that – you will be able to slowly remove the fear.
B
Sounds remarkably similar to the Jose Silva School of Meditation, Benny. I’ve been practicing this for the past 35 years. You’re right, this stuff works.
I am honored by your presence here Jack. I admire your work. I am glad you agree with me - it means a tremendous amount to me. My work is a great mix of all that works and I have tried to completley eliminat the rigid or stuffy parts of the theories. I assimilated the greatest parts of everything and eliminated the waste!
Great suggestions for some wonderful ways to start a positive day!
Fear is just as pointless as worrying. Most times it gets you nowhere.
Although a little fear can also keep you on your toes and safe as well.
Dr. KC
http://www.DOCintheBiz.com
Being paralyzed by your fears is a horrible thing. Being alerted by it is a human function. You need to understand your fears in order to control them and conquer them!
I got faith one way and one way only. I had to live for years on drugs and alcohol until it finally kicked me in the ass and I had to go to AA. Going through the twelve steps helped me to develop acceptance and faith.
I’m grateful for those terrible events because I don’t think it likely would have happened otherwise. I envy those like you, Benny, who excel at it.
Barry my friend, let it be known that I know the thud of rock-bottom and the scraping sound of your knuckles along the bottom as you straighten up and work your way forward. No drugs or alcohol for me… but You do not need to have done them to know the bottom…
You can reach the bottom many ways… The trick is never letting it get to you - and working your way back out…
Don’t envy me dude - I am human like you - work with me - do not envy me
I love this “mind magic”. I don’t love fear. But since fear is a natural and normal part of life, we have to work on decreasing it on a daily basis and decatastrophizing many things. Thank you for the great suggestions you shared in this article! Again…it’s all in the way we think!
Doc KC
Great post.. Lots of great suggestions here. You really explained just how powerful positive thinkig can be.